Maybe..

Hope things stop changing.. just stay the way it is.. i want to accept it.. the way it is.. if everything keep changing.. i can't decide.. i don't want.. keep it this way.. though it hurts.. but i don't mind just stop changing.. i don't want to have hope up high and you just smash it infront of me.. i am tired... heartless to be correct.. story.. my life is like a story with no ending.. not knowing what is happening tomorrow.. not knowing what is my future is like.. not knowing how many more nice/heartless people i will meet in the future.. instead of keep thinking how bad my life is.. i am doing a lot of this to distract me.. it is working a little by little.. healing cell by cell.. how long can i keep lying to myself.. once start lying i can't stop.. can i.. if i stop.. it will just hurt more.. though i know i am lying to myself.. but i still lying to myself.. i guess i am crazy.. but well.. what can i do..