Me...

Day after day.. i am more and more afraid of the dark.. that feeling is back.. why.. why is it back.. the feeling of losing something... the feeling of losing everything.. the emptiness is hunting me again.. need a hug.. but who can give me that.. a hug.. ~~ i just found out that there is a wall between me and my friends.. always thought there is nothing there.. but there is.. i just ignore it.. after hitting on the wall so many times.. i finally know i can't break it.. i can only treat it like a glass.. but the fact that it there won't change anything... after finally accepting the wall.. i decided to shut myself in.. even i don't know myself anymore.. if i can't even understand myself who can.. can only feel my heart crying.. bleeding.. but outside.. i am smiling.. i can't cry.. tears are not there to fall.. soon.. soon i will be so tired of this.. ~~ how long can i do this.. ~~