Wake up already!!.. kay? :'(

You know it.. you should have already know it.. but why.. you knew didn't you? why... why.. why are you doing this to yourself... there won't be any result... there won't.. so why do you bother.. you of all people should know how tiring this is.. you should.. but why.. why are you still torturing yourself.. i want it to end.. and either you end it.. or i end it.. which has no differences actually.. we both are the same person.. and that either way.. i have to move on.. crying won't help.. getting mad won't help.. shouting won't help.. nothing will help actually... except.. if i continue.. continue walking... and walking.. till.. i finally finish it...

Your Answer...

I understand.. i finally understand.. i think if i die you also won't care... == you will only care about how clean your house is.. ah.. whatever lah.. anyway your son is more precious then me.. fine then.. spoil him then.. whatever he become is your fault.. whatever he become don't blame that i never say anything.. is all your fault.. i scold him about what he done wrong.. you scold me saying that if i never say anything he won't be like that.. then let him be.. whatever he freaking turn in to is NON OF MY BUSINESS!! you don't even care.. why should i.. ==

A saying??

I came across this sentence long time ago.. but i didn't think much of it until recently.. (There Is No Such Thing As Coincident, The Is Only Necessity...) is this true? if i change everything that i thought was coincident into necessity.. it just sounds and looks very wrong in a way.. or maybe there is a meaning under it.. if i ever figure it out.. maybe i will post it here.. well that is if anyone were even reading these in the first place...

So long..

It has been so long seen i last wrote anything here... now that i realize the world is changing.. into a more and more different thoughts and feeling kind.. meaning.. that things are not like it use to be.. last time people can smile for no reason.. they can laugh for no reason.. they can even do whatever they can to help a person and not wanting anything in return... i can't see this people anymore.. they are getting lesser and lesser... or is that everyone is still the same.. but they are afraid to show.. to this world they say.. you can never trust anyone.. not even your family members... i was thinking won't it be very hard.. to me trusting is kind of important... if you don't trust me then you can just leave.. because there is no point in keeping a friendship/relationship if 'suspect' is in the way.. i hoping that my friends will really trust me.. because.. even if i lie.. i have my reason.. and that lie wasn't meant to hurt you in the first place...

I wonder...

Kind of wonder.. that is there anyone out there who come back often to view my blog... wonder is there anyone out there who like my blog.... i been wondering.. because i kind of starting to lose motivation to write on blog... at first is a place for me to share my thoughts and feeling.. but then after that.. i was thinking i am sharing.. but to whom... please respond if there is.. cause i am kind of lost here.. thanks for the help.. i appreciate it a lot...

Maybe... hmm..

I guess my dreamland is better then reality.. i tried very hard to no stay in my dreamland.. i can't bare to leave it.. this world is just full of mystery.. and kind of scary.. but then there is also a lot of this i want to find out.. like are there other human outside the galaxy? where did animals come from? why are humans so smart? who created maths? why is the sky light blue but the galaxy is dark blue/black? why  does the star look white from the earth but up close they are red? where did all the different language come from? there is so much question i want to ask.. but there is not alot of answers for them..maybe next time when you all create something remember the create a answers for that question that others might ask.. XD

Horoscope :)

Though i been reading a lot about it.. but i wish to write it.. to help others with.. and it just all come to.. maybe i don't know enough.. maybe i need to research more.. maybe what i write it's not true.. but i still find it cool.. people might not know.. but i know that each person horoscope is different.. as in they act differently somewhere.. because you maybe born on that day of the horoscope, but you still need to see the year you are born in, the blood type you are, what horoscope are the people around you.. these all make who you are.. there is 12 horoscope, the is 12 zodiac, there is 4 blood type, there are 365 birthday.. so now now can you see how special you are? this is call individual!! so though someone might be similar to you.. but they can never be the same as you.. planning to take notes of it and maybe write it out.. (or how about this.. so do you think i should do it? anyone to answer that question??)

x.x

Haiz... tired.. i seriously need to stop thinking.. it's really killing me... AHHH!!... stop it will you.. what and i pissed off of everything and anything... OMG!! i am so going crazy... never been so pissed off before.. what is wrong with me!! mood swing.. yeah maybe.. but what the heck can don't swing until like crazy a not.. feel like just screaming out of the window... but then who knows someone might call the police to catch me... or others might think i am crazy.. and send me to IMH (mental hospital)?? gosh i wish it stops.. ==''

Watse of my time and effort..

If you want die the go on... no one is stopping.. yeah i know... what i say won't change this freaking world in to a better place.. not as if you dying will change it to a better place either.. you think you are the only one who suffer... you haven't seen the world.. and bull shit say you know it world well enough.. by saying you suffer more proves it wrong.. everyone ask me leave you alone.. let you be.. and yeah.. i thought that by talking to you it will make a difference at least a little.. and oh right.. i see how this is going.. come on.. who the hell you think you are.. your mum gave birth to you and you want to die just like that.. everytime you are like this i just can't help but want to knock some sense in to you.. and that i always end up getting curse by you.. and you say that i part of what made you like this.. but for you information.. i didn't ask you to kill yourself.. i didn't ask you to doubt me.. i didn't ask you to curse me.. i didn't ask you help me either.. and that i realize you didn't either.. so from now on.. whatever.. is always the same.. you said you change.. but you freaking didn't at all..

What is ahead?

Most people don't know what will happen tomorrow... some might know but doesn't know when it happen.. some might know when it will happen but doesn't know what will happen.. so either way we know something and don't know some.. this already show that humans are not perfect... those people who think that are just can't see what we see.. and that is one of the imperfect they have.. so don't think why can't you be like them.. you have your own path to success.. it may take a longer rote.. but who know maybe that longer rote might just help you to be better than your friends/enemy or whoever... you just have to believe you can.. because i believe we all can.. in our own ways.. and that not one can have the same life or live the same way like you.. being you is who make you... YOU!! so after you see this.. SMILE!! and face the world bravely... i know i am not brave.. but together we stand divided we fall.. so let's do our best.. to live your best in life.. ENJOY IT!! BECAUSE IT'S YOUR LIFE!! :) no one else can enjoy it for you.. :)

I am left with... me?

I know previous two post are song.. well.. i post it cause first it's nice and i want to share it.. next is maybe that is how i feel.. which i know a lot of you feel the same.. I don't believe it last time.. well actually now i still kind of don't believe.. i learn of ways to read hand lines.. which people say is for the future.. or what you will become.. what is it that will come and so on.. i didn't really believe.. until i remember that there is a saying destiny is in your hands.. that is when i realize.. maybe it's true.. destiny is in your hands.. (more like written on your hands) learning more and more about people (human) everyday... and that i realize i have been searching for my real self.. or myself everyday.. everytime which seem that i found it (myself) i just lost it.. or it just fade away.. is everyone else also searching for themselves? or am i the only one..

好聽

你说的话 我都相信
说得好听 说得甜蜜
你说的每一句 我都相信
为了爱情 失了聪明
听你的话 闭上眼睛
这个梦多美丽 让它继续
你说的话 总那麼好听
你爱不爱 我不能确定
也许你只把它当游戏
我却爱得太用力

你说的话 我都相信
说得好听 说得甜蜜
你说的每一句 我都相信
为了爱情 失了聪明
听你的话 闭上眼睛
这个梦多美丽 让它继续
你说的话 总那麼好听
你爱不爱 我不能确定
也许你只把爱当游戏
我却没那麼聪明
你说的话 总那麼好听
你爱不爱 我不想确定
我会关掉你送的手机
然後 静静 不去理
你说的话 总那麼好听
你爱不爱 我不想确定
我会关掉你送的手机
然後 静静
静静 是再也不去理

断掌

一双手掌的断纹 真的注定了一生
宿命里的爱与恨 谁甘心逐岁月浮沉
啊... 我要有自己的人生
啊... 把不可能变成可能
命运里要对抗的到底是天还是人
把手掌握成拳头紧紧咬紧牙根
昨天的沉默一直到今天的容忍
明天所有的梦想让它变真
命运里要接受的到底是天还是人
不信掌心的断纹这就是人生
昨天的努力一直到今天的责任
明天的我带着自信的眼神
啊啊啊啊.........
啊啊啊啊.........
一个柔弱的女人 也该有自己的福分
生活里的苦和闷 也不掩饰内心真诚
啊... 我要有自己的人生
啊... 把不可能变成可能
命运里要对抗的到底是天还是人
把手掌握成拳头紧紧咬紧牙根
昨天的沉默一直到今天的容忍
明天所有的梦想让它变真
命运里要接受的到底是天还是人
不信掌心的断纹这就是人生
昨天的努力一直到今天的责任
明天的我带着自信的眼神
明天的我带着自信的眼神

My light..

Dear Friends,
                     If you can't find the light in the dark.. or that you can only see darkness now... do remember before you go on your journey, bring along a torch light with lots of spare batteries... i know it might run out one day.. so bring along a jar... to catch fireflies on the way... though fireflies life is short.. but at least it brought light to you world... after that find the stars.. knowing that some can see the stars.. then find the moon... i know that it is not always full moon... bring along glow in the dark things.. bring lots of them.. and by doing a these if it still doesn't work nevermind... because you manage to drag the time of it.. and i should be with you by then.. i can't bring anything that is bright that shines forever.. but i can accompany you walking your road of darkness from then on... i promise let's walk this road together.. :) and that we will walk out of it one day..
                                                                                                                                Love,
                                                                                                                                Someone Who Cares <3