Once more :'(

Can i see you once more.. just once more.. and maybe at that time.. i will hug you as tight as i can before letting you go again.. will you let me do that.. will have this chances.. i can't have that chances am i right.. i am too selfish i guess.. you are just like sand.. i grab i mustn't let go.. once i let go i can't grab back the same sand again.. i guess.. that sand left i can't keep.. i have to let go.. i can't bare to let go.. but no matter what you are being blow away from my hand.. grain by grain..

Gosh... ==

I have no idea anymore.. so did i give up on (him)? or did i just like for another person? i feel like seeing that person... feeling like knowing everything about him.. what the hell am i doing? who do i like... what do i want.. who am i.. why everything is so messy right now.. i left school and promise to forget that person.. and i half way forgetting that person... i like someone else? did i? YOU KNOW IT HURTS TO LIKE SOMEONE WHO WON'T EVER LIKE YOU!!... so don't think about like anyone please.. i know i don't deserve it.. i know..

Why.... TT

Could you stop thinking.. i know.. but please make up your mind.. you know loving someone is difficult.. you are so close to giving up.. why are you liking someone else now.. i don't know cause he look like (him) or what.. but please don't because they look alike then you fall for him... THEY ARE NOT THE SAME PERSON!! GET IT!! So don't even think about it.. you will die of heartache like this.. so i beg you please stop thinking and give up on him and stop liking anyone.. PLEASE.. you know i can't take it..

SMILE!! :')

Having a new life.. It's a brand new year.. 2012.. The year where everyone thinks it's going to end... But i don't.. Even if it did end at least i know i love someone before.. and others MIGHT have love me too.. I know my family will always love me no matter what.. i know i can count on my friends when i am sad. :) I LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH!! Thank you for being there for me.. :) (extra*) I wont give up on him*.. I found out is not i can't.. is i don't want to.... :) Oh Well, Let God Decide Then.. :)

I lost..

Wish that you are happy.. I can't give you the happiness you are looking for.. So long you are happy i am too :).. If only heartache was a physical pain.. then i won't suffer that much.. There will be a way for it to be heal.. But the pain you give me is mental pain.. I can't cure it and i am going crazy.. I miss you.. I love you.. I want you.. But i won't have you.. I won't take you.. I don't own you.. Stay happy.. forever and ever. ;)

I wish.. If only..

Why.. why.. why must the ending be like this.. I want it to change.. But i guess if you are happy i will be happy for you.. Wish you all the best. :) I have to move on.. I can't keep on waiting for something that will never come true.. Wishing.. Hoping.. But it did come true.. well at least it did in my dreams.. I am happy enough.. Hope you will be happy too.. Things around me has started to lose their colours.. But thanks to my friends at least is black and white and not total darkness.. They gave me LIGHT.. But i used to think only you can give me all the colour i need to shine my life.. But thanks to chemistry i know all the colour are just part of light. :D I smile for my friends.. I am happy for you.. I guess you didn't know but you are the first person i love.. <3

I can't let go.. TT

Seeing you is the best thing of my life. Though this is very suffering for me.. I know i can't have you.. All i can do is think.. But everytime i think of you it hurts.. The scar that that is left was not hurting anymore.. But these few days.. The pain came back.. I can't do anything.. I thank all my friends who have help me though in one way or another.. Now i have to face the fact i can't let go.. I tried and i can't.. The only choice i have left is to wait for the feeling to fade away.. Which it might take years.. But i don't mind.. Because I Love You...